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Thursday Thoughts – My mate does not want to do it

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Thursday Thoughts is a weekly column in which Ms. Victoria Kay, a Phoenix-based Disciplinarian and Spankologist, provides her insights to reader questions or those posed by All Things Spanking. Thursday Thoughts columnns are archived on a page of its own in addition to being available through the normal search feature. Please email if you wish to suggest a question for Ms. Victoria.


Question: I have a real spanking fetish, and need to be paddled on occasion. I think it would be especially cathartic when I have done something wrong. Although not a prude my wife has shown little interest, but I cannot get the idea out of my head. Do you have any thoughts or suggestions on this? How might I interest her?

Ms. Victoria says: I think it’s great idea and kudos for having the courage to give it a go.

In relationships, it’s best to address things right as they come up or happen to prevent misunderstandings, built up frustrations, or resentment. It allows both partners to handle things accordingly, and then move on. Not only is the spanking important, but so is the dialog around it. The issue at hand is discussed, and thoughts/feelings made clear.

As for how to interest her….perhaps just bring up the subject. Tell her you would be interested in trying this, and explain to her how you feel it could benefit your relationship.

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Editors Note: See also How to introduce BDSM to the bedroom without terrifying your partner at GQ (UK) online).


Wonder Woman and kink

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Arenike Adebajo recently published an article on Konbini.com discussing a “New Film [Professor Marston and the Wonder Women that] explores Wonder Woman’s origins in BDSM and feminist kink.” Many kinksters feel that femdom rules, and women can certainly administer a memorable spanking.

… Wonder Woman is one of DC Comic’s most iconic heroes. She’s more popular than ever after the record-smashing success of this year’s Wonder Woman movie. But not many people know about the character’s origins in BDSM and kink.

The sex-positive origins of Wonder Woman

If you’ve ever picked up any of the early edition comics, their raunchiness might come as a surprise. There’s spanking, sadomasochism, bondage and double entendres galore. …

One must show respect … or else

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In Momma Spankings from Sarah Gregory Spanking, the latest is that:

Disrespectful Daughter

Belle comes home to find mommy sitting on her bed waiting. Belle is pissed off first that mom is in her room, and second that mom seems to have issue with what her daughter is wearing and basically calls her daughter a slut. So after having a pretty big attitude with mother, she finds herself across the lap getting a very hard spanking over her tight, short, and slutty shorts. In order for mother to stop spanking her, she has to apologize and stop being so disrespectful. Well, she clearly needs a very long and very hard spanking with mommy’s hand and hairbrush before she begins to show some remorse and drops the attitude.

Friday frivolity

All Things Spanking over the years on this date

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An interview with Disciplinarian Juliette

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Miss Juliette is a Los Angeles-based Spanker. She recently agreed to chat with us, and we are so pleased that she did. Erudite, well-spoken, and quite adept at delivering the type and severity of spanking required in any situation, Miss Juliette opened our eyes to many things. And, yes, “Juliette” has an “e” at the end despite the space-mandated truncation imposed by FetLife where it appears as “Juliett.” As Miss J said to me, ” … It has gotten many a young man like yourself in some trouble. My advice: ” Don’t forget that “e” … or do forget it! Be careful what you wish for.”

You may read more about Miss J or contact her via her FetLIfe site or email.

ATS: You have stated that you consider yourself a “therapist of sorts.” Many disciplinarians are now becoming involved in “life coaching with a twist.” This is a growing segment of our community. Could you comment on how that is done and received by the client? Are most clients receptive to this, and do they respond well? Are the issues being addressed generally corrected?

Juliette: Every situation is different, but generally speaking:

1. Client has goals. A to-do list is generated from those goals. Some goals are huge like “Get healthy” and others are a one item to-do list.
2. Disciplinarian holds client accountable for those goals. This involves communication, scheduling meetings, and updates.
3. The severity of the discipline is married to success of achieving those goals.

Everyone can benefit from having a coach. The world’s top achievers have coaches. As a life coach, I don’t always tell you what to do, but I do expect you to stay accountable for the goals that you set for yourself. As humans, we all have a need to progress, to create meaning in our lives. My meaning is helping people succeed, and helping them correct course when they don’t.

ATS: Is your enjoyment for administering real discipline connected to the coaching? What is it about this aspect of spanking that attracts you?

Juliette: It’s the connection that I crave. There’s a give and take that can only happen during an OTK spanking.

ATS: You lead the FetLife group Professional Disciplinarians and Life Coaches. How is this going? Are Disciplinarians and clients better able to communicate and share ideas given this group?

Juliette: It’s going great, but I’d like to see more involvement from the client side. I think most Disciplinarians are natural communicators.

ATS: Like you, I grew up in the South where spanking was part of the culture, and expected. Aside from spanking friends as a kid, what other things did you do to engage or entertain your interest?

Juliette: There are things to do other than spanking?

ATS: Fair enough, Miss Juliette. You began honing your skills at a young age. Moving on now. There are many positions in which to place a spankee to access the “target.” Which are your favorites? Why?

Juliette: OTK is my favorite. I like the connection and feedback I get from that. However, it’s limiting in terms of leverage. So, I will often sit upon a squirmy spankee, which tends to keep them in line. I’ve also been known to grapevine legs to keep them exactly where I want them. One of my favorite positions involves placing the spankee’s head between my calves, with the bottom raised high in the air. It’s a very submissive position to be in, and difficult to maintain. It’s not for everyone. In fact, I use it sparingly. It’s a privilege I’ve only offered a select few.

ATS: What are your favorite implements?

Juliette: I prefer wood above all else. It’s hard, unyielding and predictable.

ATS: For sure, Miss Juliette. A good spanking with a wooden implement leaves no doubt.

ATS: Many enthusiasts believe that a disciplinarian should know what each implement feels like, and experience a spanking with it. Although you are strictly a spanker, have you felt your implements? Could you elaborate on why or why not?

Juliette: I think that’s absurd. Does a heart surgeon need to have a heart attack to know how to operate? Does a therapist need to experience every form of tragedy to coach a client through theirs? Of course not. What a disciplinarian needs is a basic understanding of human anatomy, especially the specific location of kidneys, tailbones, and the difference between hip flesh and butt flesh. She needs a basic understanding of physics; where to stand when delivering a paddling to ensure even application. How a cane works. How to hold a belt to keep it from whipping around and bruising hip flesh, or heaven forbid, hip bone. She needs a certain amount of physical stamina to lift her arm over and over and over again for each individual swat, especially for an OTK spanking, where gravity is not on her side. She needs to be observant, to see if her spankee is in the right emotional state. She needs to be a good listener because every client is a different person with different needs. And most importantly, she needs a heightened state of self awareness. No two clients receive the same spanking, but I still spank the way I want to. It’s a balancing act, my needs and their needs. A disciplinarian has to know when to finish. A spanking, a session, or an arrangement.

ATS: Have you done videos? Any plans to do so? Where might one see or obtain these?

Juliette: Ha! You wish. No videos. Never. My privacy, and that of my clients is of utmost importance to me. Perhaps you think all sessions are ” Whack, Splat, Thanks for that” (I just made that up right now. Yes, I’m a genius). I have a few clients, many of whom are high profile, who book me for days on end, or longer. Now, don’t go getting any funny ideas, it’s just spanking, talking and eating. The last thing my clients need is to be seen at a restaurant with a well known Disciplinarian. They can introduce me to their friends, colleagues, or what-have-you, with complete confidence that their privacy will remain just that.

ATS: Do you travel away from your home to spank? Where do you go? Any plans to do so?

Juliette: I LOVE to travel. I have a few clients around world who fly me here and there for some proper discipline. I’ve been all over, but Dallas, Vegas, and Chicago tend to be my hot spots. I have plans to head to Kentucky for the first time coming up. I want to be clear about the fact that I don’t accept sessions with everyone who solicits me. I have a very narrow set of interests, and no amount of money will entice me to bow my boundaries. Having said that, I have been known to offer discounts, and even prepaid block sessions to those who have financial need, and show a commitment to improvement. I figure if we BOTH invest in your success, then we both succeed.

ATS: Do you remember the first adult spankings you gave? What were they like? Could you tell us about them?

Juliette: I do. They were epic. Tears and recriminations, and millions upon millions of encores.

ATS: Do your family and vanilla friends know what you do, and what do they think of it?

Juliette: The majority of my friends and family do. My mother – she is so funny. First, she’s a stunner. Beautiful, smart, and sweet. She suspected I was doing something off the beaten path (so to speak!), but had no idea what. She sat me down and told me she was a flower child, and didn’t mind if I was making love for money. Now normally I get really offended when someone calls me a whore, but Mama is a charmer. So after I dried my tears of mirth and thanked for the belly laugh, I explained to her that I am a Disciplinarian, which is kind of like a dominatrix, but without all that annoying leather and horse whips. In fact, I told her, I bill myself as a “rent-a-mom”.

As years went by, I was happy to indulge her curiosity. Finally, one coffee date, not too long ago, she told me a story about her short stint as a professional Disciplinarian. She was a taxi driver, back in the day, and a fare offered her an enormous sum of money to cap the trip off with a spanking at his place. Mama’s an open-minded soul, so she gave it a try. I have never been prouder of my Mama.

ATS: What do you like about spanking? Dislike?

Juliette: Everything. Nothing. I don’t think I understand the question. What is there to dislike about spanking? Other than it really makes me hungry afterwards. Hence the “no pictures/video rule” because I have to eat, and I prefer to eat without random strangers begging me for spankings. Which they would if they ever saw my face. I just have a face that makes people want to be spanked.

ATS: Is all of your work related to corporal punishment, or do you also practice broader aspects of BDSM? What might those interests be?

Juliette: I’m not into BDSM. I do, however, love a good foot massage, and I also have a few cuties who come clean my house, and wash my car for me. It’s been a while, but I’ve had a few transitioning clients. The focus with them is on spanking, but with different goals. Although, now that you bring it up, I look really good in leather pants. But I always wear a nice dress.

ATS: Miss Juliette, I imagine you look nice in anything you wear, and are quite effective when administering a spanking in any of it. Again, interested parties may contact you via your FetLIfe site or email.

Thank you again for your graciousness in granting this interview. “Keep those paddles popping!”

October 17 over the years in All Things Spanking

Yes this will sting

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The paddle may be small, but the lady knows precisely how and where to apply it to maximize its effect. Never underestimate a lady who wants to punish you.


Original source unknown


Yes I am ready

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Send all three of them in. I will speak with them, and make sure they never do such a thing again.


Original source unknown

An interesting read from the UK

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Via The Mirror:

Inside the secret sex dungeon that couples can hire to indulge their fantasies

The Gatwick Dungeon, situated near the airport, is filled with whips, benches, stocks, cuffs, a ‘school’ room, a cage and even a spanking bench …

“It’s all about being consensual and people understanding what they’re doing and doing it in a safe way and having lots of fun with it. …”

“If it was about violence then I would shut my place down tomorrow. If I thought that anything like that happened on my premises I would not allow people to use it.” …

A Spanking Voice: Elizabeth Burns

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Elizabeth Burns’ website states that she “is a matriarchal woman in her 40s who has a lifelong interest in spanking and over 16 years of professional experience in administering corporal punishment to naughty boys and girls. Not only is she adept at the art and science of spanking, but Elizabeth is a skilled role player who loves to scold.”

All Things Spanking’s interactions with Elizabeth have been very positive. She has been an absolute delight in all regards. Elizabeth recently launched a new site, Spanking Audio Clips by Elizabeth Burns, that has gotten fantastic reviews. From time-to-time, All Things Spanking will be featuring representative clips from Elizabeth’s site for your pleasure. I urge you to link to the site for more.

Courtesy of Spanking Audio Clips by Elizabeth Burns

Those kinky Brits

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Britain’s favourite kinky sex act revealed – it might surprise you

Read it here in The Daily Star.

She is ready. You better be.

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Found on Pininterest. Original source unknown.

The brush for someone’s tush

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Via Tumblr (OTK For Me). Original source unknown.

Miss Buffy Brown announces the next Manchester (UK) Spanking Party

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Where? At Manchester (UK)
When? 21st February 11:00 am – 5:00 pm.
Cost? £150 for a half day (one session) with lunch; £250 for a full day
Lunch? There will then be a light lunch available from 12:45 to 1:30 pm. The morning only participants may stay for lunch and leave when the afternoon session starts. The afternoon participants may enjoy a light lunch at 1:00 pm prior to the afternoon session.
Ladies scheduled? Miss Buffy Brown (Domme), Mistress Eclipse (Domme), Miss Kitty, Miss Melissa Greyton, Miss Donna, Miss Melody, and Miss Sandra

The day will be split into two parts to cater to many interests although it is anticipated that most attendees will stay all day. The morning session will be 11:00 am – 1:00 pm and the main objective will be to punish wayward boys and those lacking in discipline. You may choose (negotiate) how you are dealt with and your desires will be agreed to via email prior to attendance. This will be approximately a 15-minute slot, and your punishments will be witnessed by the other miscreants and professional ladies.

The afternoon session will start at 1.30 pm and each participant will have a ’round card.’ There will be five Disciplinarians, and each gent will get 15 mins with each lady; a total of 75 minutes play time. You can negotiate how you spend your time. If you’re not playing, you may as this is an ‘open party.’ No doors will be closed. Unlike a traditional party, there is no opportunity to switch as the morning session will cater to the switches.

Please apply in writing to missbuffybrown@hotmail.com, and give as much detail as possible. Whatever your persuasion, Miss Buffy welcomes you.


Does she spank? Want to try her?

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Found on Pininterest. Model and original source unknown.

An interesting read on a unique Dominatrix

Sultry Sunday: Leia-Ann Woods

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This week we focus on Leia-Ann Woods who is a London-based spanking enthusiast. She has appeared in many videos, and is an erudite, experienced, and very accomplished practitioner of the “art.” In Leia-Ann’s own words:

“I love to feel traditional corporal punishment, even if I must suffer the humiliation of having my panties taken down…”

Switching perspectives, Dr. Leia-Ann will diagnose and prescribe the cure for your ailment. Her treatments are direct, effective, and applied with no anesthesia. Failure to follow doctor’s orders are not tolerated. After all, no pain no gain to borrow an axiom from exercise buffs. Be careful what you wish for as Leia-Ann states that she:

“… found a love of switching in recent years, enjoying dishing out corporal punishment in many roles from the domestic right up to judicial level.”

Leia-Ann also hosts the Bottoms Up Spanking Club where she and her associates aim to run a party with a difference. The approach is unique. Link to the site to read all about it.

It is All Things Spanking’s pleasure to feature Leia-Ann Woods. Her videos can be seen at:

Friday Frivolity: He may be an athlete but his butt is hers

Blasts from the past

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